Wednesday, September 3, 2008

trudging a road to self fulfillment

my dream last night.

I'm animated with short dark hair, shorts, tee-shirt and a backpack. I'm wearing large boots, the kind that you would wear in the snow or in a shallow pond. There is nothing around me, just a pale yellow road surrounded by dark yellow ground. I am walking with my head down and a steady beat of feet, marching band style. I look up and the sun is shining making me squint my eyes. Look back down and continue walking. On both sides of me there are pictures streaming past me. Some stop and talk to me like a TV would - loud, annoying and unnecessary. Cant determine who or what they are, just keep walking. Wake up.

Analysis: I'm going somewhere. I'm gonna do something, don't know what it is going to be yet, or where i am going, i just know I'm on a "road" somewhere. right now is a time in my life of in-between-ment, a dulling of a once very colorful image, a time to let things pass me by and continue walking towards what I am slowly finding out to define me. It is also a time where letting go to things that bring how i define myself down and firmly grabbing onto the things that fulfill me.

The one thing that bothered me about this particular dream is how I was slumped over, my feet were heavy, and the sun was bright. Maybe I'm not happy? Am I not happy? I don't know. Is all this taking a toll on me that I am not aware of? Is there anything happening at all and I am just over analyzing?

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